Hangman too

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“Hello Nigerian su..”

“This wasn’t supposed to end this way, this is hangman and you can to tell it to the world. The mask is off.”

“They’re afraid of me, I don’t blame them, with time I’ve come to fear myself also. Oh my, I must confess I don’t feel right deep inside, I feel like I need to hide, everyones wondering why I get high, see it’s because I can’t fight the weakness inside. Sometimes I can’t get her out of my mind, maybe I just won’t find, maybe I just can’t find, another beautiful state of mind. Sometimes everydays right on time, but right now in my mind it feels like I’m living on borrowed time. So what now? What advice can you give me?”

“What advice can i give humanity?”

“I suppose so.”

“Live your life, don’t waste your days on the negative energy of others. Remember that you’re not your salary, you’re not your house, nor your car and no matter how big your house is, your grave is 6 foot under, just like everyone else’s. So enjoy the days you’ve, worry not about the days that have gone before you, nor the ones that will follow in your death. Remember that right here in this moment is all you’re guaranteed, and the fact that you’re living is what life is all about. So live your life to the fullest, according to the happiness and the betterment of all. Live for God, he’s the only one that genuinely loves you. I see the way you kill yourself for these people, guess what, he died for you!”

“They looked into my eyes and of course could not see beyond the hidden smile I was putting on, the front that I put on for them. I spilt my soul into artistical pieces, poems written with my blood, I hoped it was enough for them, it was enough for her. Do they love me yet? Does she love me yet?” 

“No.”

“You know what, I’ll go harder than before for God, in fact I’ll write till I collapse, all I wanted was acceptance, my latest lesson is that I’ll never feel your aproval, anyone’s till I accept my own. Have they been in pain like me, been insane like me? To not become a product of this environment i need to cry and vent I’m done building up this wall, acting like everything’s all good but in reality I’m searching for something. Eyes closed I can zone out till 5 or so in the morning, I’m used to being alone with everyone around me. Man you know how long I’ve been out on my own, chasing dreams, fantasies of a throne? Today I woke up and saw that it didn’t exist all along and I felt suicidal. I’ve been writing verses that people consider brilliant, boosting my ego with every comment that I hear. And still then, I’ve not found solace, so what’s the point? Worrying about if they would understand. When it boils down to a life needed to be loved by a person in too deep with drugs. Nikki, Mari Anna and they all thought those were old flames. They were my addictions! But now, they’ll always be my stars.”

“My brother your trauma is deep, don’t bury it you should weep, and clean it out of your system and truly forgive them. Just my opinion, only then can you find peace.

For all my starryaddicts out there wondering how far you can fly, the truth is that you can go further than the stars and the sky, but if you really want to then you ought to know why. Are you running from something with hopes of becoming someone that’s finally worthy of love? Let me tell you now, you’re worthy of love. Screw approval from strangers, that’s dangerous as hell. Find God, learn to accept yourself and I’m gone, accept Him.

Sadists

​Because I’m unloved I’m going to spread the illusion that love isn’t real how;

How quick the world picked it up, even married couples tell it to their children now;

Now all I see are courtesans, perverts, gigolos and queers all searching for lust love;

Love is on the other side, its farther than far fetched, and the road is abrupt is far cry;

Cry as how you please, take the long way home, fate chose her but I choose Desmondella;

Desmondella for you I put the hangman in a noose, but her man is around the corner he;

He usually carries a chrome bat, so now I’ve thoughts of hearing my skull crack;

Crack my bones the society won’t mind, my heads knocked, though my eyes are still in lids;

Lids can’t save them I know, no one will come to aid so I stand solo, yeah i fly solo, oh i swam so low.

Hangman too? Yeah we stand so low.

Hangman

Phone call|Unknown-

Hello.

“Mr Jaden with the rumours of the hangman circulating your name, what do you have to say to Got…”

With whom am i speaking?

“This is an inquiry…”

No, goodbye.

Phone call|Desmondella-

Mr Jaden, the city needs you.

I’ll be there in 20 minutes.

Hang-mobile- 

Hangman hangman hangman why’re you all so shy, who can tell if you cry behind the mask, and when you lift your wings up, tell me why you never fly?”

“You runaway like a bride, though I heard you married your job with a brand , I wonder if you explained this to your girlfriend and does she even understand?

Why do you all ask so many a question, if I take off my decor, tell me who will be treated like a transgression,

And what goes up never flys for long, I don’t know why everyone likes to be involved, feeling like they know it all,

Oh the rumour about that marriage, see all that’s buried in the past, I wasn’t feeling the love thus we got very divorced.

Oh hangman hangman hangman this wasn’t part of the deal, you were supposed to be enforcing the law. When you step up in the scene, please tell me why my people run, I think they know you’re aiming for the kill.”

“Why do you look colder as hell, once again why’re you all so shy? In front of the mask we can almost see you wonder why she fell.”

You all act like I’ve a choice, my girl won’t ever understand sigh, I can’t risk blowing our spark to be hotter as ice,

And I don’t think any body will, most people feel a kill is a kill, they say I’m a murderer still, an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth,

Whoever kills by the gun, will surely die by its boom, you all say I’ll die alone, for who can love a hangman that will never die because he has no soul.


Sweet blessings, rich forevermore, only you can touch it because they all ignored,

Sweet peace, as long as the mask stays on, and the spirits can’t touch you, they should never have done wrong,

No intercessions, no one but me prays for my soul, they all preach by asking, and sometimes these answers I don’t know

Sweet sweet…

Gardenia

Your glossy lips do not reflect your white lies but only attracts white flies

And then you stand out, so well the world might not see what holds you down

All your scratched branches or broken leaves that are not looking so evergreen

Are like doves in the wind or broken clocks that you don’t have time to fix

You’re busy with the lush at the top, the pretty birds and the rush, to remain forever young

You clean the surface but underneath is root, still you walk around with dirty souls

You take everything personal, everybody knows, and Anu said its no surprise since

Your clique, the garden of your type of trees, make the world their personal space

Your leaves do not spread as far as you claim so discover your zen my dear and stay in your lane

Why are you stuck with friends that love the top but are frightened of heights

Grow out of the box gardenia, Anu spoke real words, life is not abracadabra

If I’d to lose you, I’ll carry on my own, your so called friends will be no where to be found

A wooden cross the Christ carried, the only difference is the lack of miracles I could manage

With you, for you, you should know I came just for you, pour sand in my foundation

Gardenia be a fruitful part of my branches, let’s be one as my waters baptise you in holy matrimony

I just wa….

Oh, I sound like a creep… I was trying to sound po…

No i wouldn’t like a restraining order.. no i wouldn’t like pepper spray in my eyes either

I’m fucking off.

Kitchen

Tether me to the discreet nature of an old wise lie 

Only the teller knows it’s true purpose because the ignorance 

Maybe when I’m lost there, i will be truly free and found out of reckless chatter

It is a pitiful thing when just everyone knows a private matter or an affair 

A chat to yours sincerely will end up being a chat to theirs faithfully, therefore

A self disciplined hush between corners will recompense public murmurs 

Only for the mean time, because the public despise discreets more than lies and liars 

The fear of being ostracised, made a man birth to become a father of lies 

Then one day, as the ignorance is being lectured with poorly attended lies

A story contradicts, light bulbs are lit, suddenly theres an insatiable hunger for truth 

Someone just smelled fish there, but by now they should already have a dish served.

Has this hit? I wish this hits, i could’ve been someone to you, please reignite,

See I’m tired from each exhale, every night things don’t seem quite bright,

You left me my ego, well I’m not fully contempt, I wish it fled I confess,

From the way my pride cooked and baked, I must’ve slowed our progress, now I guess this piece is slow to digest,

But you’re Lord divine, you’re definitely Lord blessed, and I don’t deserve history repeating itself,

Again and again, I only see my dusty self being picked and put back on the shelf,

Your friends are over the moon but you can’t tell, they returned all the caps I gave you so I’ll be mad hatter,

Most of these puss on hills smile as Cheshire cats, from the start they wanted my head on a platter,

My friends even confided I keep a bee in my bonnet about you, I remember I sang a song Mr. Lover too, but I don’t know where it landed,

You said it has become hard for you to see a spark, colours seen by candlelight will not look the same by day, then I furious, shot an arrow but I didn’t find where it landed,

Desmondella showed me much later her heart deep, deep I found the song, from beginning till end and found the arrow, unbroken the remain,

Sigh, again the day is done and as darkness falls from the wings of night, again I hear a sorrowful funeral in my brain.

Disquieted

You should get away from me, there’s nothing here no more,

After I fell, deeper than the depth of my luck, I didn’t want you to take for me pot luck;

I wouldn’t mind your eventual icy stare, used to be homeless this heart i keep;

You walk in beauty, like the night and cloud my horizon with your starry eyes;

Like the black widow you’re a lonely child, only child you’re not used to sharing but I’m one of five so I’m not used to caring;

Other girls are as fair as a weather friend, most get the makeup down to a fine art, but as you just not as eloquent.
You should get away from me, there’s nothing here no more,

Though the night was made for loving, we were meant to meet like ships that pass in the night;

I’ve been a dark horse but since you darkened my door I’ve been whistling to myself in darkness and it’s not because I’m practicing for a choir;

Why do you weep only during the burial of the stars, if i don’t go to work who’ll weep for money?

Would you love me on a bus the way you love me in this Benz, I asked twenty and one questions and they were all about us.
Still you should get away from me, there’re things I feel but should ignore,

This is my trade secret, whenever I think of any man under heaven they may appear in my poems but only at loss for words;

However, you Desmondella, whenever I close my eyes you appear in my poems, so I whisper with my lips close to your ear;

I have see many men and loved may women but sincerely I love and see none better than you.

Half light

​You know I’ve seen you from afar right? I reassure you I’m infatuated. You told me you believe in unicorns and centaurs, well I believe in something greater than magic. I believe in us so I will March in on the 14th, the day recorded as your existence and death sentence, as a horseman. I’ll call three others and together we’ll fly away. You can call your friends too, tell them its your sweet chariot, it’s no pressure, they can swing low. I’m coming forth to carry you to Venus, you’re more familiar with but really home is wherever you go. I agree that there’s no place like a place with you in it, and if I’d my way kadan everyone walking on earth would be walking on your grounds. Of recent, we frequent the grounds in a half light not because I’m half god but because it’s my favourite colour and we spend moonless nights together talking about the lights in our mind because blacks the colour of your favour. Digging deep as if my religion is within you, I banished all carnal thoughts and love still remained, of course this is a new formula with 1 for me. Personally I raced through all the heavenly bodies to find something stuck on earth with me. Merely just followed my vibrations, till constructive superimposition when I met you. You know I felt you from afar right?

Colour blindness

I was whitemailed

By a white witch,

With white magic

And white lies,

Branded by a white sheep

I slaved as a whitesmith

Near a white spot

Where I suffered whitewater fever.

Whitelisted as a whiteleg

I was in the white book

As a master of white art,

It was like white death. 

People called me white jack

Some hailed me as a white fog,

So I joined the white watch

Trained as a white guard

Lived off the white economy.

Caught and beaten by the whiteshirts

I was condemned to a white mass,

Don’t worry,

I shall be writing to the Black House.

These're the tales of Osiri, before thirty pieces of silver, when we were rosy,